Just Cant Say Goodbye
Why was still she hurting so much? She thought getting
her own flat would be the best solution, but why still was her heart
feeling bad? It was 2 months since she moved out of their flat. He
hardly was ever there, touring with his mates all over the world. She
wasn't jealous of all the women who lust after him, its all part of
the fame game.
She lay there in bed, thinking about the last 3
months, and she still hadn't heard from him, though she hadn't told
him her new address.
She shouldn't have walked out on him, but she had no
choice. She needed her life back, a life not filled with Showbiz
parties, and awards shows, she wanted a normal life, which meant a
life without HIM!
She couldn't sleep at night, without dreaming of being
in his arms, him kissing her, or generally him being present in her
dreams. She always woke up sweating every night. She couldn't bear to
watch them on TV, performing, or even talking. Just watching him,
made her shiver.
She would turn the radio off, whenever they came on.
She sat at work hours later, staring into space, when
she was brought back to reality, by a voice so familiar, her heart jumped.
"Hey Stranger," He said, with his accent.
"Hi!" she said, with uncertainly.
"I've been missing you!" He says, with a sad
look in his eyes.
"What are you doing here?"
"We've got a few days off, so I thought I'd come
and find ya."
"You didn't need to, I'm okay, honestly I am."
"Can we talk, I miss you. I'm on the verge of
breaking down, I can't concentrate on my work, you are all I think of."
"It's too late, cant you see that I've moved on,
I cant take this anymore."
"Why? What have I done?"
"Nothing, honestly, I guess I'm not cut out being
in the public eyes 24/7!"
"You don't need to be in the public eye."
"But, you are always in the papers, magazines,
and if I was with you, I'd be in them too, I don't like being seen in
that way, I want a normal life, which sadly means, a life without you."
He left, looking heartbroken, and sad. Why was she
being so mean to him, she wanted to follow him out in the rain, tell
him how she really felt, but I couldn't. It wasn't that she didn't
want to, she just couldn't, she felt like a coward, not confessing
her true feelings.
She couldn't concentrate on her work, how hard she
tried, she'd be thinking of Nicky instead of doing her work. She
tried his mobile, it rang then it stopped, he's ignoring me she thought,
what the hell had she done?
She left work, feeling confused. As she sat on the
bus, she felt like crying. She knew he'd be at the flat, and that was
on the way home, so she got off at his stop.
She stood outside his building, trying to build
strength to go up.
She got inside, and walked to the flat, she knocked on
the door, she waited a few minutes, no answer.
She went back down, and caught the bus home, she
didn't get that far, when she saw a guy standing in the rain, outside
her apartment building.
"You're soaking," she said, with a smile.
"Yeah, I've been waiting for you!"
"Come on, let's get inside, before you freeze or something."
"Thanks!"
"How did you find my flat?"
"Anto told me."
"Oh, I see, "
"I wasn't prying or anything, I miss you, and
it's beginning to be a distraction with my work."
"God, I miss you too" She said, smiling.
"You mean it?"
"Yeah, babe! I shouldn't have walked out on ya, I
was a fool to believe that I could live without ya, but who was I
kidding? I need you, I'll move back into the flat, if ya want, this
was only temporary!"
"Of course I want you back, I could go insane not
having you there," He said, grabbing me in a hug."
"I'll just go and pack, and leave a note for my
flatmate, saying its all on again, thanks for the room!"
She was glad to be going back to the flat, no more
late night parties, and unexpected guests opening the wrong room. She
felt safe with him, now, there was no way she was ever gonna let him go.
"Watch out" she screamed,
It was too late, he hadn't seen the car speeding
around the corner, she dropped her bags, and dropped to her knees
over him. He was barely breathing, soon an ambulance arrived, thanks
to a passer-by's cell-phone, and they were on the way to the hospital.
She sat there in the waiting area, crying. Here she
was going back to their flat, and now Fate had dealt this. She prays
that he would be all right!
"Excuse me, you came in with the hit and run victim?"
"Yes, is he okay?"
"He's out of surgery, he's very weak!"
"Can I see him?"
"Sure, I'll take ya to him."
The Nurse led her to the room, she walked in, she
could see his bruised body in the bed, and his eyes were closed.
She sat next to him, holding his hand.
"Please god, don't take him away, just when
everything was back to normal, you do this, Why?" she said.
She sat there crying, until the machines started
beeping, and the nurses and doctors came running in, a nurse told her
that its was best if she went out.
She stood by the window, looking into where the
doctors were trying to revive him. She walked away, down to the
waiting area.
2 years later.
"Mammy, watch me!" said a little voice.
"I'm watching, darling," she said, looking
at her daughter playing in the playground, by the cemetery.
"What can I say, but I miss you, oops, we miss
you. Even though Amy hasn't met you, she knows that you are her dad.
I play the videos, show her the books, and put on your CDs, so she
can see you and hear you! She cries when she sees you, she says
that's her daddy, her daddy that she never got to see, She has a
picture of you by her bed, which she kisses every night, she misses
you, and so do I! Your mam has been great with Amy, spoils her
rotten, and your brother and sister do too." she says kneeling
at the grave putting the flowers that Amy picked from the florist
into the vase, " I can't believe it's been 2 years, it seems
like a lifetime that I've been living alone without you. Well, Amy is
running over to me, I think she's seen the ice-cream truck. So I'll
say goodbye now, goodbye my sweet baby. I love you, and I'll never
forget you, keep looking down on us once in a while, we'll be alright!"