Nicky's POV
Another pile of fan
letters to go through on my day off. I don’t get sick of
hearing how fans loved me or how they really feel about Georgina
and myself. I sat there on my bed, with my back against the wall,
reading the letters, making a pile of ones that I’d
definitely reply to…
I hadn’t found any yet that caught my attention, until one
with a, could it be an, New Zealand postmark. I opened it
carefully…
Dear Nicky,
I said to myself that I would never do this, but if you’re
reading this, then I’ve obviously have written to you.
I’m not one of these super overly-obsessed fans, who like to
stalk their idols where-ever they are, or fill their post-box
with words of unrequited love.
But ever since I heard that Bryan and Kerry were engaged, my
heart sank. The reason, is I thought that it would be just like
Boyzone, when one got married, the rest would follow suit,
starting with you and Georgina. Just thinking about it makes me
sad…I know that there’s like no chance of me ever
meeting you or even dating you, but I can dream can’t I??
I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I could ever get
used to the fact that you could be married soon. I wouldn’t
be surprised if you never got this letter, you probably get loads
of letters daily. why should mine make a difference, all the
letters you get probably are from fans who overly-love you, and
they think that they can win your heart…which I think
isn’t gonna happened in a million years…
I’ve got nothing left to say, so I’ll post this off
when I go to the village…
Yours truly,
A Kiwi Fan
What a deep letter, I sat there thinking, how could this girl,
one I’d never met, make me feel so, so? I couldn’t
really describe the feeling. I saw that she had left an e-mail
address as a means of reply, so I thought I wouldn’t let
this letter go not replied.
I sat there staring at nothing in particular, I must have been so
absorbed in my thoughts, that I didn’t hear anyone knocking
on my door…
“Nicky, earth to Nicky?” Said Gillian,
“What?? “ I said, snapping back to reality.
“Mam has been calling you for the past 5 minutes, Dinner is
on the table…”
“Thanks, I must have been so absorbed in these fan
letters…”
“Nicky, you don’t need to reply to all of them, just
give them to mum, and she’ll send a picture to them in
return…”
“I’m not gonna reply to all of them, just the ones that
I want to reply to personally…”
“Oh, and are there any yet?”
“Only one from a girl in NZ, she’s made me think about
my life, and what my priorities are!”
“And??”
“Gill, I’ve got to reply to her, it’s the only way
that I can sort my life out, and help her do the same…”
“Nix, are you sure you should be doing this, I mean
shouldn’t you consult Georgina about this, before you start
helping people especially of the female variety, you’ve
never met!”
“No, this has nothing to do with her. I don’t want to
be mean, its between me and this girl…”
After dinner and the dishes, I ventured back upstairs, I re-read
the letter, feeling more sad, but full of thought…I logged
online, making sure that I had gone invisible on my various
messengers.
Hiya,
I got your letter today, and thought that I’d reply to it
personally, because you seem to have made me think about my life,
within the band, and my personal life.
Your letter has really touched a nerve within me. How can one fan
letter touch me in a place that other letters don’t. It
probably sounds weird, but it’s true.
After reading your letter for about the 50th time, I found that
you were trying to tell me something without you even realising
that you have say it. It wasn’t in the words, but in the way
you wrote.
I have decided that I need a change in my life…before you
start blaming yourself, that you made me leave westlife. I
don’t want to leave westlife, westlife is my dream, but the
thing that I’m changing is my personal life…
Tell me if I’m wrong in thinking this is the best way to go?
Nicky B…
I sent it, check my mail to see if anything interesting? Nothing
worth reading, so I logged off and got ready for bed…
I couldn’t sleep, I was full of thought, and anticipation of
any reply from my kiwi friend…
I woke up early, and ventured downstairs. I made some breakfast,
taking it back up with me, so I could log online, and check my
mail.
3 new messages, one from my nz friend…
Nicky,
Man, what you wrote before, was not what I was expecting…If
you’re happy with Georgina, why change a winning formula.
You’ve got to do what’s in your heart and say what is
on your mind.
If your heart tells you that things aren’t working out, then
follow your gut feeling, if it means splitting, its what
you’ve got to do…
I’m a little freaked that you’ve found some hidden
meaning or message within my letter.
I’m online at the moment, so if you want to talk person to
person, not via e-mail…you can use the first part of my
yahoo e-mail, on yahoo messenger…
Your friend
Eilidh
I had a name, Eilidh. Eilidh, where have you been all my life?
Obviously living in New Zealand.
I loaded up my yahoo messenger, clicked on add new friend, and
typed in her yahoo id… and pressed ok…
A few seconds later, I got a reply saying that she had added me
to her list…
United4ever: Hey
Irisheyes4me: Hey, how are you?
U: I’m fine, just eating breakfast, how about you?
I: I’m sitting here having a cup of tea, before I go to bed.
U: is it late there??
I: Nope, it’s only 10.30pm…which makes it 9.30am with
you…
U: So what ya doing?
I: Well, checking my mail, chatting with some friends, and with
you of course!
U: I didn’t mean to freak ya out, about the hidden message
in your letter.
I: it’s all right, so what are you planning to do?
U: What can I do?? I don’t want to give up this long-time
love, but it’s not exactly been love at the moment…
I: what?
U: I mean, me and Georgina have had arguments, but we usually get
over them, but this time, we’re still fighting…
I: as I said before, you have to decide yourself, what to do? if
your heart tells you too, then follow what you believe
in…who wants to be stuck in a love-less relationship??
U: Why is it that what you say, give me the shivers…
I: I can’t explain it. I’m only saying what I
think… you don’t need to do it, if you don’t want
to…
U: But, I don’t know what to do?? maybe I should think about
the positives and the negatives of the situation…
I: Nicky, I can’t tell ya the answers, you have to seek them
yourself…it might take a long time, but you’ll find the
answers you need in the end!
U: I wish you weren’t in NZ, but in the same town as me. So
I could meet you and see what you look like, instead of trying to
envisage what you look like…
I: I wish I was in Ireland too, but I’m not. Look, I
don’t want to say this, but I’m about to log off,
I’m really tired…so I’ll talk to ya later..
U: Okay, I’ll e-mail you later, sleep well, talk to ya
later… bye Eilidh…Le gra Nicky x
I: Bye
She was offline, I sat staring at the screen, re-reading the
conversation, and I saved it, so in case I need to re-read it, I
could…
I sat back on my bed…trying to make sense of what was going
through my head…
Why was everything she said, seem right, it was like she was an
angel from heaven, there to help guide me through life, and in a
way I was hers!
I didn’t want to give up Georgina, but my heart was telling
me otherwise that a break could be what I need…
I decided to go out, I needed to clear my mind…